Tuesday, June 12, 2018

The Anniversary of a Death

it's so hard.
Unbearable even,
and yet it comes every year
then anniversary of a death.
Even to write --
to think -- about it
brings a flood of tears and grief.

How do we make it through?
And yet,
it has been a year.
a year of
day by day,
hour by hour,
minute by minute,
tear by tear...

And yet,
every morning
the bird will sing.

Grief washes over me,
over us,
for certainly death and grief
are not isolating.
Grief and death are never experienced alone
but affect a whole family,
a whole community.

in my saddness
raw and fresh
as when I got the news,
I cry to you,
and yet,
just outside my window
I hear the birds sing.

Each new day
the birds will sing,
and that gives me
the courage to hold on
to faith,
to hope,
to memories,
to love,
to you.


I write this reflecting on the anniversary of the untimely death a young adult in my church.

The phrase, "the birds will sing" comes from a post about grief:
The author writes:
At these times, I have been so blessed to be a part of Christian community. When the loss is so great, I can rest in the arms of a loving God. Sometimes, that is all I can do in my grief. Breathe in God’s love, let the tears fall, and breathe in love again.
On Friday, May 25th, I attended the memorial service for Peter Borgdorff, the former Executive Director of the CRCNA. As I waited for the service to begin, I noticed the cover design of the program, drawn by one of his granddaughters. A number of years ago, Peter’s son passed away and he clung to God’s mercies to be new every morning. In his deep grief, he told his family and himself that “The birds will sing in the morning.”

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