Why did I become a pastor in the first place?

John 15:16

"You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name."

Lord,

it strikes me as funny

the moments when life becomes clear.

Today it happened after watching 

an episode of NCIS (Season 15 Episode 23).

At the end the agents are questioning:
"Why did I become an agent in the first place?"

The answer is revealed: 

"To make a difference."

Lord,

I began reflecting on the same question:

"Why did I become a pastor in the first place?"

I thought my answer was going to be:
"To make a difference."

But then I paused, 

and I heard a different answer 

bubbling up from within:

"Because God called me to be a pastor."

You, Lord, chose me,

and appointed me to bear fruit.

Sometimes that fruit is about making a difference.

I have letters and cards from lives my work has touched.

But my worth, my value, my rooted-ness 

is NOT in how much difference I make.

My foundation, 

what keeps me going, 

what gives me strength for these hard days

is Your calling, Your choosing, Your appointing.

Why did I become a pastor in the first place, Lord?

Because you chose me

and that makes ALL the difference!

May I produce the fruit of faithfulness that lasts.

Amen.