Standing in the midst
of a St. Patrick's Day festival
a day to celebrate the patron St of Ireland
turned into green beer and even greener hair
among the Five Points district of Columbia
pulsing with life and loud music,
I am accompanying my almost 18 year old son.
Honored that he asked me to hangout with him.
We've heard some pretty good indie rock.
We ate BBQ in the shade of a handmade vodka vendor.
Now we are packed in a crowd of hundreds
as the sounds of Switchfoot
literally reverberate in our chest.
I sing along.
Then suddenly,
lyrics I haven't heard before
invite me to pause,
to observe the moment,
to reflect:
"This is your life.
Are you who you want to be?
Is it everything you dreamed it would be
when the world was younger
and you had everything to lose?"
It's as if I'm seeing
myself, my son, the crowd from above.
This IS my life.
Am I who I want to be? Am I?
Am I living the life I want?
The one I used to daydream about in high school
when I first sensed God calling me into ministry?
In some ways, yes, I am living my daydream.
I have a loving family:
an amazing wife, an incredible son.
I am a pastor serving the church:
a teacher like other members of my family,
but not a professor like my father or brother.
I remember when I made the distinction in my mind in college:
I would teach like my parents, like my brother,
but as a teaching elder in the church.
What, if anything, would I change about my life?
I would value moments like this with my son
as our relationship changes
and he launches to pursue his dreams.
I would be more patient and more present
with my parents as their needs change
and I become a caregiver for them.
I would live a healthy life,
making better food choices, and choosing exercise.
Watching my brother's and father's health decline
has shown me the importance of taking my health seriously.
I would enjoy my days, take time to rest,
take trips, say no to extra commitments,
say yes to healthy boundaries,
ask for help and delegate.
As the song concludes with one more chorus:
"This is your life.
Are you who you want to be?"
I look down at my son
standing in front of me and think:
Yes, I am, and right now,
there is no other place I'd rather be.
I think St Patrick would agree.
As a prayer that bears his name says:
"Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me."
--St Patrick's Breastplate
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The above is inspired by the Switchfoot song entitled, "This is Your Life". Listen here:
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